A Harmless Prank

Beti

A soft white cotton whispers against the stark, black sky. Stars wink in the dimly lit night. Beti glides through the sky, floating with an effortless control of movement. She stops when she wants. She turns and accelerates with little thought to the complex action. The skyline rises and falls in harmony with her every movement. Her white night clothes soar through the sky, flapping in the wind like a cape. Weightlessly she begins to drift toward the Earth. Soon, the wind rushes passed her as she descended rapidly toward her landing spot. At the last minute,   her intended target disappears.

Her landing is abrupt.

Instantly, Beti jumps from her bed, landing on the floor with a thud, not fully awake. Her head turns left and right. Images of her dream flash behind her blinking eyelids.

Even more clearly than in her dream she remembers, it was not the fall that startled her. It was the sound of the twig snapping beneath her.

John

            In the dark, it is much easier to shut out the world. At least for a few hours. The sun would not rise for at least another two hours, but John was wide awake. The earlier he rises, the more push-ups, sit-ups, and pull-ups he could do. He had only started his routine a week ago, but he was already up to five hundred each. Five sets of one hundred. It keeps him alert when he reports to work at five in the morning.

            “You don’t have to do this,” John recalls his mother telling him.

            “We are not having this conversation,” John told his mother.

            “This is not your responsibility,” She pleaded.

            “It makes more sense for you to stay home and take care of the rest of us,” he said, his teeth tightening.

            “Ninety-eight…ninety-nine…one hundred,” John counts, defusing the tension. His feet hit the floor and he hears a twig snap outside.

He pauses for a moment, but remembers, “The dog next door…one more thing I need to take care of.”

“One…two…three.” He closes his eyes and a loud siren breaks his concentration. 

Janis

            Tiny fingers gently shake Janice’s shoulder.

            “Hungee,” Rose says in a loud whisper.

            “Shhh,” Janice says, glancing to make sure the lump on the other side of the bed had not moved. “Can I hold you first? I need a minute to wake up?”

            “Okay,” Rosy says climbing into bed with her mother. “Did daddy wake up last night?”

            “Yes,” Janice says, trying not to recall the violent seizures her husband endured late in the night.

            “Dus it hoot ‘im?”

            “I don’t know, Rosy.”

            "Ah yoo scawd wen e shakes?”

            “Sometimes.”

            “Wat was dat?”

            “Probably the neighbor’s dog, again.”

            “O, wat was dat?”

            “That sounded like Beti jumping out of bed. She must have had a bad dream.”          

            “Ah yoo stiw tierd?”

            Janices smiles in the dark and pulls Rosy closer.

“Let’s go get you something to eat.”

A single blast of a siren opens Janice’s eyes.

“Wat was dat?”

“Now that we should go investigate.”

Hyrum

            Hyrum glances around briefly, but not a single light is on.

A fling of white dances across the still dark night. He places his feet with care. The tissue hits the ground softly and he tosses it again. He winds it in and out of the branches, up over the house, and through the bushes. Once the part of the house and most of the yard have turned white, walking because more difficult. At the snap of a twig, Hyrum holds his breath.

There is no movement from within. No lights are turned on, so he continues. Etiquette dictates that Hyrum’s revenge must be worse than John’s. The more tissue the better.

The tree at the front of the yard has gone mostly unscathed. Hyrum starts at the bottom of the tree and begins to wrap the tree like a mummy.

A loud light flashes followed by a piercing siren startling Hyrum. Fear replaces adrenaline. His feet turn to run, but reminds himself that only the guilty run. He sees the police officer steady themselves to catch a runner.

Hyrum chooses instead to stand his ground.

“Is there a problem, Officer?”

“Yes, I would say there is a problem.”

“This is my friend’s house,” Hyrum says.

“Then why the guilty face?”

“Umm…I don’t want his sister to find out I got caught.”

The officer’s shoulders rise and fall, but his face is still stern.

“But it is his house…,” Hyrum says.

“Do you have permission to be here?”

Umm, who gets permission to TP a house? Hyrum thinks. “I plan on helping him clean up the mess…John helped me…a little.

“Why weren’t you at my house last week?”  Hyrum thinks. Frozen toilet paper is not easy to clean up.

“I need to wake your friends up.”

“Please, Sir...she is going to be mad at me….”

Unable to argue, Hyrum eyes meet the ground. Ashamed.

The officer knocks at the door.

Awkwardly, they avert their eyes.

Hyrum sighs when he sees Janice open the door and not Beti.

Rosy tugs at Janice’s bathrobe.

“Good morning, Officer. Hyrum,” Janice says.

“Shinee!”

“Is there a problem, Officer?” Janice asks.

“This young gentleman claims to know you.”

“Yes. He is a friend of our family.”

“I caught him TPing your yard.”

“And the problem is?”

The edges of Hyrum’s mouth twitch.

“Are you kidding me?” Beti yells.

Hyrum steps back and lowers his face.

He no longer smiling.

“Uh…Hi.”

Just behind the door, John laughs.

            “Thanks for the help, man.”

            “Anytime. Awesome job, by the way.”

“Thanks.”

“You thought this was a good idea?” She is still yelling.

“John did it last week.”

Even more laughter behind the door.

“You think that’s how you get my attention? What happen to flowers, chivalry, or helping an old lady cross the street?

“What do old ladies have to do with this?”

“This is just stupid,” she continues. “Cowardly,” she adds.

“Wow, you’re just going to call me a coward in front everyone? This is cowardly?” He says gesturing not only to the TP mess on the lawn, but the police officer standing at his side. “Great now I am yelling.” Hyrum is unsure if he is yelling because he is embarrassed or because John is laughing.  Maybe Both. “You can stop laughing, John?”

“Nope. You just made my day. You should TP my house more often.”

“Seriously,” Hyrum says returning to his conversation with Beti.  “All I did was TP your house. Why is that such a big deal?”

“Exactly, next time, maybe you could think of something a little more romantic to get my attention?”

“Romantic? What for? I got your attention didn’t I?” She steps forward, held back only by her mother

Hyrum takes another step back

“Ma’am, do you want to press charges?”

“No,” she says abruptly, glaring at her daughter as if to say, of course I don’t.